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The dirt on mary-sue by Obeliskgirljohanny

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Submitted on
August 22, 2007
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                         PART ONE: BUILDING YOUR AWESOME OC</b>
The first step in creating your fan-fiction is coming up with the protagonist to be the central character and absolute medium in your story of your chosen movie, anime, book series, TV show, game, etc. Professional Mary Sue writers, who have studied the art of self-insertion fiction with precision, have carefully assembled the following guidelines, so don’t worry – you are in good hands.                                                       .  
The picture at the top of the page will be utilized as a visual guide.

STEP ONE: APPEARANCE AND BODY SHAPE
By looking at the picture, we can see that the Mary Sue has a flawless, shapely body and spectacular good looks. This is absolutely essential when creating an OC; if she isn’t unnaturally attractive, then the other characters will find her unappealing and dislike her. Looks are the most important thing to a Mary Sue. If she isn’t externally perfect in every nook and cranny, then she is not worth writing about. Period.

In addition to this, the Mary Sue must have at least a triple D bust size (as displayed in the diagram) and gorgeously curved hips with long, slender legs. Her waist must look abnormally small compared to the rest of her body. She also must not exhibit any evidence of muscle even if she is a fighter, because that would give her a masculine facade. A Mary Sue must always look feminine, no matter what.

Notice that the Mary Sue in the picture has long, glossy hair with coloured tips and strangely coloured eyes. Mary Sues must always be exotic – however, the quality of the exotic trait must not detract from her beauty in any way. On the contrary, it must make her more appealing. Giving her oddly coloured eyes for no apparent reason and coloured streaks in her hair (which also needs to remain well-groomed at all times, even in the heat of battle) will catch the attention of other characters, and thus make her a better person. The Mary Sue, if you look closely, also has a scar running down her face. It is placed across one of her eyes to give her a tougher look, and give off the impression that she has had a tragical past, but be warned – the scar must not be placed anywhere else on the face, as it will reduce the quality of her appearance.

On a last note, you can see that her ears are pointed. This gives her appearance a tasteful zest because she is not human (further exemplifying her exoticness). A Mary Sue should be of a different (but praiseworthy and powerful) race, or a hybrid of some sort. For example, a Sue who is part-mermaid, part-human, half-dragon with a dash of reincarnated fairy assassin, three-quarters birch tree, half-centaur, half-vampire, half elf and one-fifth phoenix is a fine exemplar.

STEP TWO: CLOTHES AND ACCESSORIES

Looking at the Mary Sue, take note of the fact that she is scantily clad. Having a “modestly-dressed” character is not an option – it leads to a drawback for her beauty. At least three-quarters of skin must be shown at all times, including an obvious view of her cleavage. A Mary Sue MUST wear feminine clothing, such as either extremely small shorts or a mini skirt short enough to resemble a belt. Otherwise, a loincloth can be accepted, but only if it exposes her legs. Her top should only cover her breasts; everything else, obviously including her stomach, must be exposed. Also, to make your character look tougher, give her a bandana. Her clothes should be mostly black or silver, to illustrate her dark, gothic heart of stone. Other colours are acceptable, but as long as they are deep shades.

Like the picture, your character should have an elaborate belly ring of some sort. These piercings are all the rage right now among trendy Mary Sues, so it is encouraged that your Sue also has one. It is important to only subject your character’s appearances to what is currently popular – otherwise she won’t be “cool”. After all, if you don’t follow the crowd, you’re a bad person.

To enhance your Sue’s stunning femininity, give her pointlessly large amounts of fabulous jewellery. For example, the Sue above, as well as her belly chain, has large gold hoop earrings and a green crystal that sits on her top for no practical reason. It is suggested that your character should have some type of jewel fastened to her clothes that relates to her tragical past. In regards to footwear, sleek leather knee-high boots that are inappropriate for battle are trendy. Ensure they have massive six-inch heels and bulky platform-esque toes. Again, they should be black, because everyone knows black is the new pink.   
Some fanatical nitpicks might point out that the your Sue’s outfit is ‘impractical’ for battle and every-day activities, but they’re just saying that because they’re jealous bastards who have no lives outside earning double degrees in University and making thousands of friends.

STEP THREE: WEAPONS, TALENTS AND POWERS

Your Mary Sue will not be a Mary Sue without immensely god-like powers and special talents. If she is not the most awesomely powerful fighter in the story, being able to mop the floors with the villains that the strongest canon characters would otherwise never be to defeat, then she is uncool and not worth writing about. This  She should be well-practised in all forms of hand-to-hand combat, weaponry, magic and the like; or, if you want to specialise her powers, make her impossibly competent in one particular area, but ensure that this is still proficient enough to easily overcome any other ability.

Whatever the special power is, it must have style and awe-inspiring trendiness – after all, your Mary Sue is a role model for all girls, to strive for outrageous perfection and coolness so they can comfortable with who they are, and not care about what others think. What is all the rage right now is dark gothicky magic or powerful elemental abilities. Ensure that these powers are summoned by unnecessarily flamboyant flourishings of the body, leaps of two hundred feet into the air with triple tornado flips and a cool super original battle shout (“Rage of the Crimson Soul!”), followed by spectacular lights and crackles of energy to make the attack seem more menacing and awe-inspiring. Of course, it would be ludicrous to suggest that she could ever get tired or use up vital energy from such incredible attacks – that would be unrealistic. So regardless of where she is, or what state she is in, the Mary Sue should always be able to perfectly execute her abilities (such as using a solar-powered move in total darkness – it makes perfect sense!).

A good collaboration would be magic and a tool of some form, preferably an impractically large, attractive-looking weapon. A gigantic, enchanted broadsword twice the length of your Mary Sue, that she can hold effortlessly with one hand, is a sensible example. However, it must not be plain, or else this will cut major points from her overall awesomeness. A good idea would be to encrust the hilt with copious amounts of glittering jewels and fancy decoration, which will of course will have no effect on her stealth whatsoever. To really have your Sue wow others, having random coloured stones molded into the blade is a great idea, especially if they have miscellaneous symbols engraved into their surfaces. Bonus brownie points if there is a long, twisted story behind said symbols.

Parts two (character interaction) and three (plot) are still to come, so stay tuned, folks!
HOW TO CREATE A SUCCESSFUL MARY SUE FIC!!1

Ever wanted to write a self-insertion fan-fiction that has it all, with a flawless, likeable and dramatic original character, but just couldn’t think of anything that was “cool enough”? Well, look no further – complete with a visual example (check above) and a written example (check at the bottom), this handy dandy HOW TO CREATE A SUCCESSFUL MARY SUE!!1 guide will assist you in creating the most l33t character ever, as well as helping you construct your storyline and grammar properly!! U R ON TEH ROAD 2 GRA3T FIC WRITNG!!1!
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:icondinda221:
dinda221 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
wtf hiei is in love with a mareh suh!? Dx nooooo
Reply
:icononix-ceptable:
Onix-ceptable Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Oh my God. You just made my life. XDD I'm dying right now...
Reply
:iconhikariwarrior:
HikariWarrior Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This... Is the most beautiful thing I have ever read XD I lost it at the 'with a dash of reincarnated fairy assassin'. Omigosh, I am now going to attempt to create the most mary-sueish character that my brain can come up with... And I will probably lose over half of my brain cells in the process.
Anyways: OAH EHM GEEEEE!!!!!@!!!!!!11111 IH CANNUT WEIT 4 TEH NEXT PAATRT!!!!!//! WRITE IT NAOO PL0X
Reply
:iconthedark7:
TheDark7 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm especially fond of the half-dragon, 3-quarter birch tree combo. That promises some pretty interesting stuff right there.

Srsly though, my iconface sums up my reaction right there lol...hilarious stuff!
Reply
:iconpsyprass:
Psyprass Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2010
Is your avatar laughing or recoiling? :lol:
Reply
:iconthedark7:
TheDark7 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
It couldn't decide which was more appropriate, so it's kinda doing both.
Reply
:iconwiredandgaming:
WiredandGaming Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
L3ik, hurry up wit dat 2cond prt! I wnt to writ aboot ma drk, goffick charrie, nd I cnnt do dat fi u prepz dnt get da nxt prt oot...

God, that hurts my brain. I want to see the next parts! I'm going to explode..

Just so we're clear, I'm not sure what I said right there.
Reply
:iconel-drago-800:
El-Drago-800 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2009
Uuuh....is...is this a joke?
Reply
:iconpsyprass:
Psyprass Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2009
No, it's totally serious.
Reply
:iconsorrowgrave:
Sorrowgrave Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2009  Student Writer
Mary Sue's are scary...they don't die.... you could drop a car on one and they'd buy you a new one ,hey that'st he mary sue test XD what would this Oc do if someone dropped a car on them ? buy a new one =MARY SUE
get sent a ER and once they recover enough to breath on their own hire a mary sue to kill them NOT mary sue XDDD
Reply
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